Say Goodbye to Sexual Shame

Learn how to talk about sex, sexuality, and unwanted sexual behavior in a new and healthy way.


Meet the Author

Just a guy from Jersey…

Carl Thomas knows what it’s like to feel trapped by crushing shame. He’s a former porn addict who’s been helping others find freedom for over 10 years.

In 2019 he launched Live Free Ministries and created the Live Free Community App to provide a safe and supportive community for men who hunger for real freedom. He also launched Live Free Wives, a free support community for spouses.

Carl is an ordained pastor, certified Neuro Health Coach, and the CEO of

Carl’s passion for helping individuals find freedom, peace, and purpose is only matched by his New Jersey directness, love for family, devotion to Philadelphia sports teams, and infatuation with his white Jeep Wrangler.

Inside the Book

“A breath of fresh air…”

We all know what it’s like to look into the mirror only to feel overwhelmed with regret and shame. For some, it’s a daily occurrence. But for those who’ve compromised their sexual integrity, it’s an ongoing reality.

In this book you’ll find a refreshingly blunt and candid conversation about sex, porn, and masturbation, that pulls no punches and reveals a clear path to freedom from sexual shame and sexually addictive behavior.

If you are a…

  • Person struggling with sexual integrity
  • Parent not quite sure how to talk to your kids about sex and porn
  • Spouse who feels they are alone while facing the pain and embarrassment of infidelity and sexual betrayal
  • Couple whose sex life is on life support
  • Leader who wants to help others navigate the minefield of sexual shame and regret

This book is for you.


Jay Stringer | Psychotherapist and Author of Unwanted

Shame attempts to convince us that we are damaged, and therefore we should continue to hide. Carl Thomas knows these adverse effects of sexual shame not only as a national leader helping men heal from unwanted sexual behaviors, but also from his own twenty-year struggle with porn. When Shame Gets Real is for people seeking a remedy from the painful experience of sexual shame. Carl’s book can help you move beyond a mere desire to outgrow a behavior and into the stories and dynamics that reinforce it. Let this book support your journey to freedom through guiding you to disarm the debilitating power of shame.

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Sheila Wray Gregoire | Author of The Great Sex Rescue

This shouldn’t be rocket science, but somehow the church has forgotten–you can’t cure shame by feeding shame. And so Carl Thomas doesn’t just pull back the curtain on shame around porn and masturbation; he yanks the curtain down, rips it to shreds, and burns it. And it’s about time! This book will help men get real with what is holding them back from wholeness, and it leads to true emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Thank you for this gift to men, and women, who have lost hope.

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Dani Ebben | Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Substance Abuse Counselor

When Shame Gets Real is a game changer for the recovery community, but also the church. Shame and addictive behaviors fuel one another. Many Christians are struggling in silence, yet sexual addictions are more common than we think. Carl’s honest and open approach allows the reader to examine themselves and shed light on those areas of ourselves that God wants to redeem, yet so often we’re encouraged to keep quiet about. Freedom is on the other side of vulnerability. I’ve recommended this book to many of my clients, and its concepts have been a vital tool to their recovery!

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Jonathan Daugherty | Founder at Be Broken Ministries

Shame is crippling to the mind and soul. Carl does a good job of describing what shame is and the many ways it damages individuals and relationships. His writing style is raw and real. If you have struggled to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors and maybe never understood why, this book can help you.

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Jeff Borkoski | Best Selling Author of Wife Magnet

Everyone needs a Carl Thomas in their life. Someone who talks about the stuff most of us won’t. Not to be crass or irreverent, but to push us toward growth and transformation. That’s his passion. It’s also the goal of When Shame Gets Real. If shame has ever held you back or quietly whispered, “You’re worthless,” I have a suggestion: Shut its mouth by diving into this very raw and honest book. Your transformation — a bigger, bolder, more powerful life — is about to get real.

5 / 6

Sathiya Sam | Founder of DeepClean Coaching

When Shame Gets Real is a breath of fresh air for those who are sick and tired of getting hollow answers to their questions about sexuality, especially in a faith context. Carl is inspiringly honest, ridiculously down to earth, and minces no words as he explains the destructive impact of shame from several angles while also demonstrating what it looks like to deshame by sharing his personal stories in great detail. His humor and straightforward writing will keep your guard down, give you permission to look within without being judged, and lead you further down the path of sexual integrity and farther away from the lonely caverns of shame.

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